My Testimony

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My close friends and family know of my journey through life.  Not everyone knows my story.  As a Christian, I want to be bold and share my testimony publicly.  I know that God can use my journey, including my mistakes to shine light and bring others to him.  I pray that if you choose to read my testimony (which is long, I warn you!), that you would be open to allow God to speak to your heart.  Please be quick to love and slow to judge.  I know that God is my Father and He never gives up on his children.  It is tough to be vulnerable and be willing to share personal details of my life — but I trust that if you choose to read it, that you would see what a great work the Lord has done in me!

My Testimony – “God’s Love Never Fails”

by Katy Lute, April 8, 2014

 *Disclaimer: This was written by me, Katy Lute. Everything in this testimony has been written from my personal point of view and how I remember the events that took place. Some names in this story have been changed. The reason I am sharing my testimony is because I know that it is a powerful story of God’s redeeming love. I want Christ to use me to help others.

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I was raised in a Christian home. I’m 4th out of 8 children. Growing up, I would often ask my parents “why on earth did you have so many kids?!” Their response was always the same: “that’s how many children God wanted us to have.” Looking back on my childhood, I would have had it no other way! Being one of 8 kids was so much fun. I always had several best friends to play with. Our parents home schooled us and took us to church. They were Godly examples to us. They did mission work in Central American countries: Costa Rica and Nicaragua, taking all of us children along for a year at a time on two occasions. In the summers we attended Vacation Bible School. In fact, one summer at VBS, when I was around 6 or 7 years old, I decided to accept Jesus into my heart and have Him be my personal Lord and Savior. I never remember a time where God was not in my life! I am so fortunate to have been raised by Godly parents who use prayer and God’s guidance to lead their every decision.

As I mentioned, I was home schooled with my siblings. Our mom was our teacher and dad was our principal. At a certain age, I felt that I wanted to transition to going to school with my peers, because my personality type has always craved social interaction and friendship. I attended a Christian school in Nicaragua my freshman year while my parents were doing mission work, and my final 3 years of high school were spent in public school in Indiana, where I am from.

During high school, I stayed very involved with church, youth group and a Christian club at school. Everyone knew that I was a Christian, because I wasn’t shy about my beliefs. I was happy that others knew my faith. I was very involved in my church youth group, which I brought my friends from school to. I was even dubbed “Saint Katy,” which to this day I’m still not sure if that was supposed to be a compliment or a criticism.

My parents have always been very conservative, and this was no exception when it came to relationships with members of the opposite sex. My eldest sister never dated. Instead, she courted a man that led to marriage. My parents were against dating. Hence, I was not allowed to date. In my senior year of high school, I decided to do what I wanted to do and disobey my parents. I started dating one of the starting football players. To be honest, I didn’t like their idea of courting with the intent of marriage. I was young and was attracted to someone and had not a glimmer of desire about the idea of marriage any time soon. So against my parents’ will, I dated. I didn’t like being at odds with my mom and dad, but I really enjoyed my first boyfriend. We held hands, I had my first kiss, and learned that I was a big fan of making out! As a strong Christian, I had long before dedicated to God that I wanted to save my virginity for my husband, and I had no intention of breaking that vow.

My high school graduation came, and before going to college, that first boyfriend came and went. One thing that I was left with was a desire to continue dating because let’s be honest — I was boy crazy! I liked kissing and I just liked being attractive to someone. Being the object of someone’s affection was like an emotional high for me. I craved attention from guys. When someone felt that I was desirable, then it made me feel wanted.

When college began, I started dating any cute guy who caught my eye. Sometimes it was a week long fling, and rarely did it last a month. I was having so much fun. I loved this male attention. Though I did lots of kissing and making out, I still felt very strongly that my virginity was meant only for my future husband, so I made that clear to any guy that I dated. Back at home, my family caught wind of my dating life and they didn’t take me very seriously. In fact, my sisters would joke with me about how instead of measuring time in months or weeks, I would measure time by “oh, that was 3 boyfriends ago.” I didn’t mind, because I loved how much fun I was having. Marriage was part of my “someday” but not my “anytime soon.”

Towards the end of my freshman year of college, a friend of mine told me that his pledge brother was interested in me. Since I was open to meeting guys, I went on a date with Eric. After just a short time of dating him, I felt like this was different. Eric was more serious about life. He was someone who I felt attracted to on deeper that a surface level. He was a guy who was thinking about the big picture of life. His heart was huge. He and I fell in love quickly. Eric is the first man I ever said the words, “I love you” to. Very suddenly, I went from casually dating for fun, to — this is the man I know that I am going to marry someday.

Eric and I continued to date for the remainder of our college years. During our senior year, he proposed and we eagerly anticipated graduation and getting married shortly after. Our relationship was so full. It was fun and yet it was serious. After years of dating, I was so excited to finally get married and “be an adult.”

In the summer of 2008, Eric and I both graduated from college, we got married, went on our honeymoon, and moved across the country from Indiana to Colorado to start our new lives together. All of this happened within a month’s time! Talk about lots of changes all at once! Eric is an engineer and started his career. My degree is in Health and Fitness. I moved to Colorado without a job lined up, but I knew I’d eventually land something in the fitness industry.

Moving to a new place where I didn’t have any friends or family was a lot harder on me than I’d thought it would be. I went from being a social butterfly with a huge group of friends to ZERO friends. And it was so much harder making friends in a new city where people are already set in their lives. This was very hard on me. We started attending a church in Highlands Ranch and joined a young married’s class with the intent of finding some new friendships. In this marriage class, we often would hear about how “hard the first year of marriage is.” Eric and I were thinking — whatever, marriage isn’t hard, it’s EASY! We were as in love as ever and now, with the move, we were depending on one another so much more because we were alone. We were baffled by what we heard in our class — “marriage takes work.” “It’s not always easy.” “You are going to have to decide to commit to each other even when you don’t always feel like it.” “Fight fair.” Etc. Etc. Etc. We felt like we were acing this class because none of this applied to us. Apparently we were just the exception to the rule, because our marriage was flawless and perfect. We never fought and we really just felt like it was easy to be married to each other. Obviously God designed us perfectly for each other and we didn’t have to put in the work! Or so we thought.

Meanwhile, Eric was getting a great start to his career at his company. I finally nailed down a job as a fitness trainer at a local gym. I worked at the front desk, taught fitness classes, worked with small groups and occasionally personal trained clients one-on-one. Going into this job, I felt really excited that I actually landed a job where I was able to use my college major–success! Well, I quickly felt overqualified for my job. My Bachelor’s degree was not necessary to get the job I had–they hired anyone, degree or no degree, even high schoolers were working with me. The entire staff I worked with were all young people, mainly in their 20’s to early 30’s. I was the only one on staff who was married. Everyone else was dating around, sleeping around, going out and partying. It was sort of like the college world again — young and unattached people just having fun and living it up! When I told these new friends that I was 22 and married, they automatically assumed I must have gotten married because I’d gotten pregnant and had a baby or something. It was unfathomable that I could possibly be married simply because I was in love and wanted to settle down. I often felt teased because of my lifestyle. It was clearly “uncool” to be so young and already in a monogamous relationship. BORING. It hurt that others felt this way about me, and slowly I began to feel embarrassed about my life.

Over the course of the next year or two, my feelings of embarrassment started to affect the way I acted. At the gym, I was surrounded by partying/unattached/unmarried friends. There were also all kinds of members at the gym who I socialized with regularly. Many of these members were males who would shamelessly flirt with the “pretty girls at the front desk.” For whatever reason, in a gym environment, people tend to be much more extroverted and flirtatious than they normally would be. Such was the case with the people at my gym. I acted like a tease and would have a fun banter back and forth with men, not thinking it was a big deal. I was very open about the fact that I was a married woman, so as long as they knew I was off limits, I didn’t see any harm in flirting and having a fun time.

Over the course of time, my innocent flirting didn’t appear to be so innocent anymore. By the way I acted around men, people wouldn’t assume I was a married woman. Because I had very slowly slipped into a downward spiral, I didn’t even think I was doing anything wrong. I was just having a good time. As long as I didn’t ever take things to the next level by hanging out with someone one-on-one outside of the gym, it was ok. As long as I never did anything physical with someone, it was ok. As long as I kept things light and breezy, it was ok. No one else seemed to notice I was in the wrong, so it was all fine and dandy in my book. But was it ok? No. It wasn’t. I was not acting honorably to my husband. I would often talk to Eric about my “guy friends” at the gym and doing this kept my guilt at bay. I was treating my husband like my doormat. I was wiping my dirty muddy feet all over him on a regular basis and neither of us seemed to mind at all.

After 2.5 years of marriage, we were 25 years old and sinking farther into this pit that we didn’t realize we were sinking into. Eric was secure in our marriage because he assumed that I was a faithful wife. Though I was technically faithful, my actions weren’t that of a truly faithful wife. I continued a string of male friendships which were inappropriate.

In early 2011, there was a new member who walked into our gym. He had just transferred his membership from the East Coast. He was a serious marathon runner. A competitive runner, actually. This guy ran and won all kinds of races. His entire life revolved around his running career. The purpose of his move to Colorado was solely for the intention of training at higher altitude. He wanted to improve his stamina via altitude training for an entire year in Colorado before going to the Olympic trials. He was an Olympic hopeful in the marathon division. Being a runner myself (though an amateur runner in comparison), I was fascinated with this man. At the time, I was training for my 2nd half marathon race, and was simply awestruck at his athleticism and running successes. It felt like he was a celebrity or someone who I should look up to. I was inspired by him.

Max and I became buddies at the gym. He would spend a lot of time working out but he spent a lot of time talking to me as well. Max often arrived at the gym and told me about the details of his 10 mile trail run he had done that morning. Awestruck! I was captivated by his abilities! As a beginner to intermediate runner, I couldn’t imagine myself having the elite athleticism that I was witnessing before my eyes. We started talking about running all of the time. I tried to “show off” to him and tell him about my upcoming half marathon that I was training for. Often times he would come in to the gym on a Monday and tell me about the easy 10K race he had ran over the weekend and won prize money. It was so exciting for me to know someone who I really looked up to like this. He was my hero!

Max knew I was married and it was no problem because he also was in a relationship with a girl back home on the East Coast. The more I was around this guy, the more I wanted to tap into his brain and learn anything and everything I could about running. He suggested that we go get coffee sometime so that he could enlighten me on his running career. I was ecstatic to get to hang out with him and hear about all of his exciting successes. Plus, I looked forward to seeing him outside of the gym setting. So one day after work, the two of us took his car to Panera where we spent hours talking about running and just life. Afterward, we went to a nearby park to play frisbee. He brought me back to my car at the gym that evening and I drove home thinking about how much fun I’d had that day. I felt like I had just started a friendship with my “NEW BEST FRIEND.” Max made me feel so good. He inspired me. He made me want to do better at my own running. He made me feel motivated to do better at everything! He was such a passionate guy and it overflowed onto me. It was incredible how “high” I felt around him.

Max and I continued to hang out together outside of the gym on a regular basis. We even took off an entire day to ski together in the mountains. We started calling each other best friends. I talked about Max nonstop to my husband at home. Eric didn’t seem to be as excited or as in awe of this guy as I was, but he didn’t have a problem with me hanging out with him. Eric trusted me. Max and I would text each other all day, every day. We would talk on the phone for hours, late into the night. He just GOT me. And I GOT him. I raved about him to Eric and couldn’t wait for the two of them to meet.

Slowly, very slowly…things were getting complicated. Here, I had found my “best friend.” Max would tell me that he felt like our “souls were connected.” Max and I were investing our hopes and dreams and all of our emotions in our conversations with one another. To that point, I was not physically unfaithful to my husband. But I was in a very deep emotional affair with Max. My heart was connected to him. And quickly my feelings were all Max and there were no emotions for my husband. Max and I started to talk about how much we cared for one another. Neither one of us wanted to get in the middle of a relationship. Neither one of us wanted to break up a marriage. I didn’t want to hurt Eric. I didn’t want to get a divorce. But my passions were exploding. All of that changed on the day that Max kissed me. Not only was my emotional self all-in and 100% attached to him, but now my body was ready to jump in too.

I made up my mind that Max was it. He was my soul mate. He was “the one.” Eric was just a part of my story that enabled me to get to Colorado to meet Max. For that, I was grateful. As much as I hated the idea of divorce, I knew that my future was with Max. I didn’t want to have a full-on affair — I wanted to make a clean break and do it the “right” way. And what I felt was right was to tell Eric that I no longer loved him and that it was time for us to go our separate ways.

One night, I sat down with Eric and told him a bunch of half-truths. Half-truths are really lies. There is no such thing as a “half-truth.” A flood of words came out of my mouth: I wanted to break off our marriage. I wanted to get a divorce. But I didn’t want him to know that it was because I wanted to be with Max instead. So I told him that I had stopped loving him. I said, “Eric, I don’t know ever I ever really loved you. We were so young when we met and we didn’t know what love really meant. It’s stupid that we got married at such a young age. Unfortunately I can’t honor the vows I made to you. It’s over. I want out. I want a divorce.”

Eric was in absolute shock. He had no idea where any of this was coming from. He loved me and felt blindsided by what I was telling him. This was not the Katy he knew. She would NEVER say things like this!

Because I felt so firmly about my choice to end my marriage, I wanted to make it WELL KNOWN to my friends and family that this was happening. I didn’t want to live in guilt. I made it pretty public what was going on — minus the Max factor. I even changed my name on facebook, removing Lute from my name. I took my relationship status off. My family was in pure shock about what was going on. This was NOT the daughter they raised. This was NOT the sister they loved. They loved me too much to let me throw my life away without blinking my eyes. This was too bizarre and strange. There was something missing. What no one knew was the biggest piece of the puzzle — I was head of heels and passionately “IN LOVE” with someone else.

The very day I told my husband I wanted a divorce was the day that I took things to the next level with Max. That night we had sex for the first time. In my mind, it was guilt-free since I had already told my husband I was done with him, so it was ok. I was unattached. I was free to do with my body what I wanted. My passions and emotions were leading my ever move and decision.

I started making arrangements to move out of my house. I found a friend at the gym who was willing to sign a lease with me and move into an apartment together. In the period of time leading to our move in date, I bounced around living anywhere but my house. Mainly I stayed most nights with Max at his house, getting more passionate and more physical than ever. Not only was our sex life incredible, he filled me up emotionally too.

One of my close friends at the gym (who I looked up to and admired) encouraged my choices. She told me that she was glad I was making a change, since she had never really cared for Eric anyway. She applauded my courage to stand up for myself and do something that was against the odds. I was taking a stand for myself. I told her that Max and I were in love and she thought it was fantastic news. It felt good to get some positive reinforcement from someone, since surely I wasn’t getting it from my family.

Eric continued to be in shock. He made it very clear that he was never going to give up on me and he refused to give up on our marriage. He said that we made vows not only to each other, but also to God. And he would NOT break a vow that he made to God. This absolutely infuriated me. WHY couldn’t he just let me go??! It seemed that no matter what I did or said, he wouldn’t let me off the hook. He hated what I was doing and how I was treating him, but loved me anyway.

Finally, the truth had to come out. I needed to be honest about my relationship with Max. Maybe then, Eric would finally be disgusted with me and throw in the towel. I wanted to squash out any hope of there ever being a repair to this marriage. So I told him I was in love with Max. I even told him the dirty details of our sex life just to push him over the edge. I was absolutely nasty with my approach. Eric’s heart broke. But he still wouldn’t give up. He turned to God. He sought the counsel of Christians for support and guidance. Though he felt like his heart was being ripped into shreds and trampled on the ground, he wanted to honor God and do the right thing. He wasn’t letting go of his wife.

Eric insisted that I see a counselor. I refused.   I was done and nothing was changing my mind.

My half marathon came and Max was there to coach and cheer me on. Later, he informed me that Eric had come to the race and gave him a piece of his mind. Eric wouldn’t go down without a fight!

Time continued on and Eric and I stopped communicating regularly. I was feeling so happy with my new life and my fulfilling relationship with Max. Max and I talked about our bright future together. We talked about getting married one day. We talked about the children we would have. We dreamed of making babies together. Never before had I been this excited about the idea of someday being a mother. He filled my cup and made my heart want to explode with passion and excitement. This was IT. It was the best life could be. I felt that God had designed Max and I perfectly for one another. It was magical!

My family was devastated about my decisions. They were fighting so hard to somehow get me to change my mind and turn around, with no avail. I felt that they were judging me. Looking back, they weren’t judging me — they just loved me and wanted the best for me. They felt that Satan had gotten a hold of me, was making me believe lies and was leading me down a path of immense sin. They let me know that they were praying for me. I stopped talking to most of my family members except for my mom.

Out of the blue, Eric called me. He told me that he had a business trip for a week and said that if I wouldn’t come take care of our pets, he was giving them away to an animal shelter. The last thing he needed to deal with was pets. I didn’t want them going to the shelter, so I agreed to house sit and care for the dogs while he was gone.

Something happened to me that week of house sitting. Here I was, back in my own house that was no longer my house. I felt strange to be back. My home that I created with my husband, that I had decorated — was no longer mine. My heart strings started tugging that week. I felt a bit nostalgic. So I called Eric. Just to see how he was. This was our first conversation we had where I wasn’t screaming at him and telling him how much I hated him. We talked. That was it.

To Eric, that phone call was a glimmer of hope. It was a game changer. He had been advised that he needed to hire an attorney to protect himself in this mess of a situation. Just that day he had decided that maybe getting a lawyer was a good idea. And then I called him. It was just a little something from God.

Several months passed on. To this point, I was feeling very confident in my decision and felt zero guilt. Not a smidge of guilt. I was finally taking charge of my life and doing what was best for me. Go me! I was being my own advocate and it felt intoxicating!

Well, that started to change. I remember the day specifically. I was at the dealership getting an oil change in my car. It was taking forever and I felt very annoyed. Never before had I needed to sit and wait during an oil change because Eric had always changed the oil in our cars himself. This few hours of sitting around waiting was aggravating. At the time, I didn’t yet have smart phone to keep me distracted, and I was bored out of my mind. I spent a good deal of time on the phone with my mom. As I mentioned earlier, I had stopped communication with my family except for my mom. Though she was very unhappy and unapproving of my life and the decisions I was making, she remained involved in my life. We still talked often. She loves me in the way only a mother can.

Something happened to me that afternoon at the dealership. I don’t know if it was in my conversation with my mom, or what. She continued to tell me, “Love is not a feeling, it’s a commitment. You may not always ‘feel in love’ with your spouse, but you choose to love and honor them no matter how you feel. Feelings come and go, but your commitment to your spouse and to God always remains.” Somehow amongst all the walls and noise I had surrounding me in the chaos of my life, I started to hear God’s voice. That scared me.

This started a new chapter for me. I started crying out to God and asking Him why on earth He hadn’t been telling me to turn around BEFORE I started making all kinds of big decisions.

Well, God had been trying to get me to hear His voice for a LONG time, but I was just unable to hear it. And now I was hearing it. And I didn’t like what I was hearing. This was NOT good. I didn’t want to start questioning what I was doing. I didn’t want to feel guilt. But now I was. I was questioning myself and feeling guilty!!

Here I was, madly in love with Max. He was my everything now. He made my heart want to explode. He was my future. I couldn’t let him go like God was asking me to do. I couldn’t! But, God’s voice was getting stronger and stronger. It was driving me crazy how much guilt I was living with. I couldn’t live like this and not do something.

I started talking to Eric. He had offered to pay for me to go to counseling. So I finally tapped into his offer and started seeing a Christian counselor once per week. I insisted that I was going to go alone. This was NOT for the purpose of marriage counseling, I just needed to get some answers. Week after week I talked for an hour about my life. I talked about how Max made me feel so alive. Eric made me feel dull and uninspired. I didn’t feel in love with Eric. I felt in love with Max. I felt like with Max I was capable of doing anything I wanted. I felt driven and alive! Week after week, she listened to me. And week after week, I started to hear how foolish I sounded.

My heart knew what was the right thing to do.  God was calling me back to Him.  He was telling me that I needed to step out in faith.  He loved me, but He could not bless the life I was choosing to live.  I needed to be bold and put a stake in the ground– once I put a stake in the ground and chose the path He was calling me to, He would richly bless me.  But if I chose the other path, no blessings would ever come.  I was torn.  I prayed, I read scripture.  1 John 1:7-9 “But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.  If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”

I knew what I was being called to do.  Everything in me was screaming and telling me not to do it.  I couldn’t live without Max.  My soul was connected to him after all!  But God made it very clear to me that I needed to have faith in Him that if I chose to walk away from that relationship and turn to Him, that he would take care of me and richly bless me.  I wanted to be in God’s favor.  I needed His love, His grace, and His mercy.

So I did.  I ended it with Max.  It was a start.  I had put my stake in the ground.  I was boldly telling the world that I was turning from my sin and choosing to follow Christ, no matter how hard it was to do.

Though I was firm in my decision to follow Christ, it was by no means easy.  It was hard.  The hardest thing I’ve ever done.  My emotional self was a mess because I was so strongly attached to Max, and it felt like I was grieving as if someone had died.  I knew that I had to hit a low before I could come back up again.  I continued to follow Christ’s lead and allow Him to hold me and care for me.  God is my Father and He would not abandon me.

I’m not sure why Eric was still willing to try to make a marriage work, let alone look at me after all I had done to him.  But he was obedient to God.  Eric eventually was invited to join my weekly counseling sessions.  We started to tackle some of the big issues.  Neither of us knew where things would end up — but we both felt firmly that we wanted to follow God’s direction for our lives, whether that was separately or together.

We were determined to be led by the Lord. Acts 3:19 – “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.”

God wanted us to be together.  Slowly, over time, and through counseling, the two of us were able to begin some healing.  We started becoming friends again.  We eventually started to date one another.  We continued to live separately for many months.  Our marriage had a lot of jumps and hoops to get through because of the damage that had been done.  But because we were both diligently following the path that God was setting before us, we found healing and eventually love.

I knew that I had to make some huge lifestyle changes to make.  I knew that it was no longer acceptable for me to work in the gym.  That environment was not a good place for me to be in.  I worked really hard and finally landed a new job working as a chiropractic assistant at a Chiropractic office.  Another big change I needed to make was to make it a point to have friendships with only women.  I choose to never be a friend with a man anymore.  Harry had it right with his mentality in the movie When Harry Met Sally.  He said that “men and women simply cannot be friends.”  And I agree.  As a married woman, I choose to honor my husband by having friendships with females, not males.  I make it a point to never be alone with the husbands in couples we know, even innocently.

Years have passed.  I have changed.  Eric has changed.  We no longer even resemble the individuals we were back when our marriage fell apart.  We are coming up on our 6 year wedding anniversary this year!  It’s a celebration!  I got baptized and shared my testimony with my church almost 2 years ago.  Neither one of us regret what happened.  Looking back, we know that SOMETHING big had to happen to shake us up and heal our marriage.  It was never a healthy marriage from the get-go, and something needed to occur to get us on a better track.  As tragic as 2011 was, we would never change a thing, because that’s what got us to where we are today: happy, healthy, following Christ’s lead, and more in love than we have ever been before!

Marriage is hard work.  A husband and wife cannot simply give 50/50.  We must both each give 100% to make it work.  And God blesses us.  He has tremendously blessed our lives.  In ways we never imagined.  In October of this past year, we welcomed our beautiful daughter, Winter, into the world.  It truly a miracle that she even exists.  She is God’s precious gift to us.

Eric is a strong man.  He never lost faith in me, and he never ONCE strayed from keeping his eyes on Christ. He is the strongest man I know. When he could have easily kicked me to the curb and lost every ounce of respect for me, he chose to stubbornly LOVE ME, as Christ loves me.  Without God’s help, he admits he couldn’t have done it.  After all of these years, he never brings up any of my past mistakes or uses them against me.  I praise God for creating Eric.  I love him so much.  He has the biggest servant’s heart that I know!  He absolutely hates running, but over the past 3 months, he faithfully worked hard and trained for a half marathon with me.  On Sunday, together we crossed the finish line of the very same race I had been training for 3 years ago.  It was a momentous day for us!  I love my husband.

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God’s love never fails.  There’s a song that is very popular that has a powerful message.  Kristian Stanfill’s One Thing Remains.  It says, “Higher than the mountains that I face, stronger than the power of the grave, constant in the trial and the change, one thing remains. Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me.”

I want to leave you with a few verses to take away:

            1 John 1:9“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

            Ephesians 2:4-5But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.”

             Isaiah 54:10“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.”

            Proverbs 31:10-12“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”

 Thank you for listening. I pray that God will help use my story to speak into your life. Christ’s love is unfailing. No matter what you do or what you say, He will never, EVER stop loving you. Always return to Him. He loves you.

 

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 Eric, Winter and I — very happy and blessed!

 

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37 thoughts on “My Testimony

  1. Katy, I can not tell you how incrediable brave you are for sharing that story. I really feel that in doing so you will help others who might be struggling with matters in their own life. So thank you for being so brave and sharing such a inspiring ( and tear jerking) story.

    Sean and I also went through a similiar thing. We have been dating for over ten years, in which most of those years we have lived in different states for the most part. I did get to a time where the distance was waying on our relationship and I did find someone else. I tried to break it off with Sean but he would not have it. He fought for me and I really do believe that GOD had brought me back to him. Now, the same as you two, we have a handsome little man.

    I am so happy to have met you and thank you for sharing your story!!

    • Priscilla, thank you:) It was incredibly scary for me to “go public” with this story. Though there are a lot of people who witnessed this and saw what we went through, there are still so many people who never knew about some of these things. It has been painful to go back through these old wounds and write about them, but I knew that it was something I was being called to share. I was a speaker at my MOPS group last week, and I spoke to the group for 45 minutes sharing this story. It was nerve wracking, yet I felt God moving through all of this! I want to bring praise to God and I know that he can only use us when we are willing to be used!!

      I’m so sorry that you and Sean went through a similar thing. That must have been a really difficult situation that you were in. I am REALLY glad to hear that God brought you back to him and healed your relationship. It’s amazing that you are happy and now you have your little miracle:) Chael is a gift from God!!

  2. That is an absolutely awesome testimony and I applaud Eric for staying so focused on God and his faith! Praise Him for opening your heart and seeing the errors. Steve and I went through a very similar situation when we were still dating and he never gave up on me and look at us now!!

    • Thank you, Renee! Praise God that he is so good. Thanks for sharing that about you and Steve, it sometimes helps to know that we aren’t the only ones who struggled with something like this. I am glad you are doing well and have 2 beautiful kiddos now:) God is good! When we keep our eyes on Him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and bless our lives!

  3. Thank you for sharing your testimony! You have been through a lot, and like you said it was worth it to heal. May God continue to work in your life and bless you all abundantly.

    Back at the start of your testimony you mentioned VBS. I LOVED going to VBS and AWANA– I also led them when I was older. So fun! Do you have any plans to home school Winter?

    • Thanks for reading and commenting!! God is so good! I loved VBS as a kid!! I never went to AWANA, but my nephews go now. I don’t have any current plans to homeschool Winter, but I’m not opposed to it:) My sister is going to start homeschooling her kids this fall, actually! Eric likes the idea of homeschooling our kids–we shall see!

      • I wanted to add after my first post that it was also brave for your hubby to “allow” you to share your testimony as he was a huge part of it.

        We are talking about Homeschooling Jax although I have zero experience with the details. I have lots of research and luckily time to figure it all out 🙂 I always went to public school, but goodness things just seem scary anymore!! Cant wait to see more updates on Winter 🙂 Take care! Oh and not sure if I ever shared the fact that my 14 year old sisters name is Summer!

      • I love that your sister is Summer 🙂 And yes, I am so grateful that my husband has been so willing to be open with our story as well, since it’s BOTH of our story:)

        A piece of advice for homeschooling in the future: there are homeschool conventions and different things that help you pick curriculums. Use those resources!!

  4. Thanks for sharing your testimony. Don’t freak out but I’m a total stranger that has been following your blog since your early pregnancy (found you on Pinterest). We had our babies only 5 days apart, so you and I have been through many of the same stuff together at the same time. Reading this post just reminded me of how good God is. The first half of 2011 was a horrible year for my husband and I as well, with an eerily similar scenario! Recently I’ve been feeling a little discouraged and distant again, but your post and scriptures reminded me of what I’ve been through and how God helped me through it, and He can help me again. Thanks for that.

    • Aww, I love that our babies are 5 days apart, how fun!! Do you have a girl or boy?? I am loving being a mom and watching my baby grow. I am sure you are too:) Wow, that is crazy that you also had a very similar experience around the same time as we did in 2011! I hope that you know that God is a God who forgives and forgets. Please dive into scripture to be reminded how much you are cleansed as a child of the Lord….I know there are times of ups and downs after this kind of thing, but stand strong! Thanks for sharing 🙂 I hope that life continues to go well for you. What a joy that you have a little baby now too!

  5. Hi Katy, I found your blog awhile back through The Baby Doctor’s Wife (Carin is a friend of mine) and I have been silently following along. Your testimony is too powerful to not comment! Thank you for sharing your story. God can do amazing things and your story is proof of that. Thank you for taking a step of faith to share.

    • Hi Kristin! I love Carin, she is so sweet!!! (though I’ve never met her in person, I feel like I know her from blogging together for such a long time!) Thank you for reading through my story and allowing God to move your heart. He is such a great God and he has the power to move mountains. I am SO GRATEFUL that He never let me go. I am so grateful that Eric never let me go.

  6. Katy, what a messy, beautiful testimony that brings God glory! What an amazing God who doesn’t let us go in our sin and that has made away that sin does not have to continually separate us from God! May we bless His name daily and continually preach that to ourselves! Thank you for sharing sister!

  7. Wow! What an amazing story and I’m so happy you bravely shared it! This made me look at my own life in how I tend to give up on things easily. You have inspired me to not give up on things so easily and to work it out. My boyfriend and I recently broke up and I was so quick to get him out of the house. The moment he moved everything out of the house and gave me the key I began to crumble. I then decided that I wanted to work it out. We are doing better now– definitely a work in progress however this blog makes me want to try even harder! No one knows what my boyfriend and I are going through, but this blog is reassuring. Thank you so much Katy! God bless you and your family! I’m glad HE called you back home 🙂

    • I will be praying for you in this hard time. I hope that the two of you are able to work out your differences and put in the hard work to make your relationship a success. Life brings up challenges, and it’s not always easy to stick together. God bless you. God bless your family. I hope that you can find peace and comfort in the Lord as you are going through this difficult time. God can change hearts!! It’s not easy to follow Him, but it’s worth it!!!!

  8. Katy, you are so courageous to share your story and I am so glad you and Eric have come out on top!! Thank you for sharing it. I think all too often our society views marriage as something disposable … and it’s easy to see why (just look at the divorce rate, look at celebrity relationships, etc). But it isn’t; it’s a commitment and it isn’t *always* fun and magical, but it is the foundation of our families. Kudos to you two for being able to get past this – and being stronger for it in the end! 🙂

    • That is the truth! The divorce rate in this country is out of control–it’s because people aren’t willing to put in the work when life gets hard! Marriage isn’t always rainbows and butterflies, but getting through hard times together and coming out on top is so fulfilling! I hope to be a good example to my children of what marriage looks like. Thank you so much for taking the time to read through our story. I really appreciate your kind words 🙂

  9. Thank you for bravely sharing your story! Life is often hard and complicated and there is something comforting about reading about how someone else deals with “life.”

  10. What an incredible testament to love and obedience and faithfulness. Thank you for sharing your story. Many can relate to what you are saying and to what you’ve been through, but only a few are as courageous as you to put a spotlight on their own sins in hopes that it will encourage other people. Your story is inspiring, and I can relate to it in so many different ways. Eric’s strength and faith in God and his love for you…wow. You are so blessed to have him. But you know that already 🙂 No judgement here. None at all. Thanks again for sharing. Truly amazing.

    • Thanks Laura! Being vulnerable and open is tough, but I am glad I did it. If it can inspire others and bring glory to God, it’s worth it! I know that all the praise and honor is directed to Christ through what he has done in our lives!

  11. I have followed your blog anonymously as I prepare for my first child’s arrival (a girl!) in May! Your testimony inspire lots of love and faith, not judgement. I think there will be so many points in our lives where it will be hard- becoming a parent, navigating life as our parents age and battle illnesses, dealing with our own aging, etc- having Trust in God makes it all seem possible that we can stay on a straight path despite what will come.

    • So excited for your baby girl that is due in May! What a beautiful time in life pregnancy is–getting prepared to welcome your child into the world 🙂 It sounds like you have such a good mindset–there are so many hurdles in life that are ahead, but what really counts is TRUSTING in God and keeping a positive outlook. We never know what life will hand us, but if we keep our eyes on Christ, we can make it through anything!

  12. I’ve followed your website for a whine since our babies were both due in Oct (mine came in Sept). Thank you for sharing this! God is good. My testimony is not as pure as I wish it were either, but God removes our sins as far as the east is from the west (psalm 103).

    • First off, congratulations on your baby! I hope you are enjoying parenthood–watching these babies grow and learn is SO MUCH FUN! And thank you for your words. God is truly good! None of us is without sin or without mistakes, but it’s what we choose to do after that really counts. Thanks for commenting:)

  13. Hi Katy! I’m Heather and I was hoping you could answer a question I have about your blog! Please email me at Lifesabanquet1(at)gmail(dot)com 🙂

  14. Katy, your story touched my heart this morning. I have been married for 9 months now, and a similar situation has occurred in my marriage. I am trying to stay strong and not give up on my wife who has left for another man. Like Eric, I was too shocked that my wife said she didn’t love me, and over time it came out that she was having an affair. She has since moved out, changed her number, deleted her Facebook and now will not respond to anything email I send her. I am ready to give up on her! But your story and Eric’s willingness to “never give up”, brought tears, and inspiration to me! I do not know if it is possible but if I your husband would be willing to talk with me about his journey though this, and maybe he could offer some kind of advice and motivation to keep pursuing my wife, and bring us back to the feet of Jesus Christ! If you could contact me back that would be great!

    • Hi there. I am so sorry to hear about your situation. What you are going through must truly be devastating. I talked to Eric and he said he would love to talk to you. Let me give you his email address and then you can contact him that way. If you want to just email him, great, or if you want to talk to him on the phone, let him know. I will be praying for you and your wife. God can work miracles, I am proof of that!

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